Recommendations have no value when the pump is primed with fakery

I’ve been fortunate to give speeches all over our country and all over the world. Years ago, I heard of a speakers’ association and decided to join, hoping I could learn some things that might make me even better.

I belonged for several years and learned some good practices. Then, at one meeting, a speaker suggested writing our own referral letters and asking clients to sign them and put them on their letterhead. They even suggested not dating them, so we could use them forever. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

I have a file full of referral letters, and I’ve never asked for one. What really bothered me was not just that dishonest suggestion but its enthusiastic acceptance by most of the other speakers in the audience. What they effectively did was make such letters worthless, because they became just another thing that couldn’t be trusted. In fact, I wonder how many speakers lost out on potential engagements when they asked clients for such letters. I guess you might as well let them know right up front you can’t be trusted. I didn’t renew my membership, because I no longer wanted to be associated with such a group.

I was reminded of this entering my exercise club one morning. They have a display offering a free T-shirt for every new member that signs up. These memberships are expensive, but I guess the “commission” for bringing one in is only worth a T-shirt with the club’s advertising all over it. I would only recommend the club to someone if I thought it would benefit them, and I wouldn’t expect anything in return. In fact, I’ve done that several times and never asked anyone to use my name so I could get something.

Buy something on Amazon, and they want you to rate it and write a review even before you have a chance to use it. I’m glad they want to know how they’re doing, but do they think writing their reviews is all we have to do?

Even my computer is after me. I play Solitaire to get through long conference calls. It helps me be patient and not scream, “Would you please get to the point?” The game keeps asking me to write a sterling review on them, and I don’t think they deserve one. When I don’t bother, the game suddenly gets much tougher to win. I’m expecting a message any day now that goes something like, “If you ever want to win again, say something nice about us. If you can’t think of anything, visit www.___” for suggestions.

Unfortunately, this malaise, which in my experience used to be unusual, seems to be spreading everywhere. How would you feel about “friends” pretending to recommend something for your good but really for their own benefit? Taking it one step further, how do you feel about organizations so desperate for customers that they try to bribe people to bring them in?

The honest way to attract business and more customers is to do a great job. We’re happy to recommend restaurants, doctors, garages, dry cleaners and other organizations when they’re excellent. Our friends thank us for steering them in the right direction. If we recommend someone that’s not very good, it’s a reflection on us, and our friends think less of us.

When I go into a place and see the bribe signs, I know I can’t expect much there, and I wonder why they’re advertising their incompetence. Admittedly, a lot of people might not make the connection, but you never see something like that at truly good companies.

The problem is these practices are so commonly accepted when they used to be frowned upon. It’s like we’ve become a truthless society. Whatever is profitable is the “truth” whether it’s true or not. Organizations don’t realize that false advertising is a virus that spreads throughout the organization. A careful check of their reporting will probably reveal it’s no more truthful than their advertising.

You can have an honest organization or a dishonest one, but not both.

Although you can’t advertise it, a reputation for honesty can be a tremendous competitive advantage today. People and organizations that claim to be honest make us suspicious, often for good reason.

Ronald J. Bourque, a consultant and speaker from Salem, has had engagements throughout the United States, Europe and Asia. He can be reached at 603-898-1871 or RonBourque3@gmail.com.